One of God’s most sacred honors bestowed upon a man or woman is parenthood.

Through the gift of a child, we are invited to participate in the Lord’s holy work of nurturing a life that reflects the heavenly qualities of our Creator. As faithful stewards of His children, our responsibility is to love them as deeply as Christ loves us, so they will grow to love Him.

What an incredible privilege.

For a few short years, God places a young heart in our care. Tiny eyes observe our every move. Little ears listen to every word. Impressionable minds search for what is good, true, worthy of love, and deserving of trust.

Before our children comprehend theology, they form their understanding of God by watching us. Every interaction becomes a divine opportunity with eternal significance. This is the sacred honor of parenthood, and with it comes a holy duty to point the hearts entrusted to us back to the One who defines their true identity and purpose.

The Responsibility Gap

God designed parents to be the first and primary heart educators.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 could not be clearer: And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Yet, somewhere along the way we outsourced our responsibility. Parents became managers of schedules rather than shapers of hearts. For two generations, we’ve:

• Granted schools free rein to educate.
• Asked churches to disciple.
• Expected coaches to build character.
• Hired therapists to heal emotions.
• Allowed social media to entertain.
• Permitted friends to influence values.

Though some of these provide indispensable help in child-rearing, none should replace the parent as authority over their children’s hearts. The Formation Gap did not occur because parents stopped caring. It began because our culture slowly convinced us that others could be responsible for the rearing of children.

The Critical Years

From the moment a child is born, the work of heart formation begins. We assume the holy duty of nurturing the attitudes and affections that shape how our children view God and their place in the world.

As discussed in the first essay, the content of the heart, whether good, bad, or ugly, determines what a child will think, say, or do. Think of a child’s heart as a ball of clay.

During the early years, it is soft and malleable. Every tender act of love or harsh rejection leaves an imprint. As children grow, deeper impressions form. By thirteen, the heart solidifies, preserving either the rock-solid truth or the distorted beliefs found inside. The resulting heart posture becomes the foundation upon which they build their lives.

In middle school, their foundational worldview is tested. Adolescents ponder, What do I really believe? They assess whether the faith their parents profess is the faith they actually live. They want to know:

“Are you real?”

Does Dad seek the Lord when life is difficult?
Does Mom extend forgiveness when she’s been hurt?
Does our family honor Christ behind closed doors as we do in public?

If our children see Scripture as a chore, they will avoid it. If they view prayer as irrelevant, they will dismiss it. If they experience church as an obligation, they will resent it.

But, if they witness joy flowing from our relationship with Christ, they’ll desire what we have.

Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who humbly admit their imperfections and faithfully depend on God’s grace. They need to hear us speak words of thanksgiving at the dinner table, gratitude amidst difficulty, and forgiveness after conflict.

The authenticity of our faith becomes the blueprint for our children’s lives. The condition of our heart becomes the curriculum of theirs.

Accepting Your Holy Duty

In a world where so many young people ask, Who am I?, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the security of parents who know who they are — and proclaim whose they are.

If our identity is rooted in success, our children will prioritize performance. If it is rooted in approval, they will strive to please people. If it is rooted in possessions, they will learn to pursue things. But, when our identity is firmly rooted in Christ, our children discover that nothing this world offers compares to the comfort of belonging in Him.

Long after they forget our instructions, children will recall our faith on display, whether real or superficial. They will remember if we merely told them about God or if we helped them fall in love with Him.

An authentic walk with Christ is the clearest picture of identity in Him we can ever give our children.

A.W. Tozer prayed, “Lord, help me to demonstrate a God so real that no one could ever be bored with Him.” We need to join his cry that our faith would be so riveting our children would never be bored with Christ!

The Divine Calling

As you consider the sacred honor you have been given, meditate on these words from Deuteronomy 4:40: Therefore, you shall keep His statutes and His commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the Lord your God is giving you for all time.

Your holy duty is more than raising children, it’s partnering with God in the formation of an eternal soul. It is a divine calling.

To help you in fulfilling your Holy Duty to the Lord, I invite you to join me in offering “The Armor Prayer” each morning. You can find it here: https://jillgarnercontent.org/