June is nearly upon us, which means our God-defying culture is gearing up for what it calls “LGBTQ Pride Month.” The usual performative displays of sinful revelry will cascade across our cities to thunderous applause. The dissonance and absurdity of an ideology that denies creation-order realities will once again be on full display — as if it were a good thing. Early examples of this trend are already appearing, beginning with the city of Boston (perhaps because it appeared first on some internet sleuth’s alphabetical list of cities).

As usual in the public promotion of left-wing ideology, it’s difficult to tell where nonprofit activism ends and where government involvement begins. On June 17, according to online flyers, the Massachusetts Chapter of the National Organization for Women (Mass NOW) and the MA Trans Political Coalition will cohost a dinner event at a Boston Public Library titled “Trans Period Pride.”

Unfortunately, the “Period Pride” celebrated at this event will not be historical or grammatical. There will be no Renaissance Fair or roast of semicolons. No, instead the event celebrates menstrual periods — a point underscored by the fact that organizers will dispense “free period underwear” to all attendees. In addition to a catered meal, the event will feature “a consciousness-raising discussion on menstrual equity and the experiences of trans menstruators.” Whatever that means.

I wish I could tell you that this story actually fell within the jurisdiction of The Babylon Bee, that no one had actually proposed such an absurd and weird idea. But here I am, writing about it. In fact, this is reportedly the third annual staging of this event. I therefore write about it so that you, dear reader, can suffer through it with me. Misery does love company.

At the risk of becoming Captain Obvious, the absurdity in talking about “Trans Periods” is that only female humans can have periods in the first place. It is a natural part of their God-given reproductive system. It is also a hormonally complex procedure, which makes it even less likely that any human science will be able to replicate it in people who are not female — that is, males. They lack both the biological hardware and the biological software.

Thus “transgender” is an adjective as irrelevant to “periods” as “infected” is to “touchdown.” There is simply no relation between the two that makes it meaningful to join them together. To the extent that anyone wants to talk about “Trans Periods,” it must mean one of two things. Either a woman is pretending to be a man and still has periods because she is still a woman, or a man is pretending to be a woman and has taken his cosplay so far that he even pretends to have periods.

I’ll let female readers decide for themselves how offended they are by this second option.

So much for the absurdity. How about the weirdness? A “Trans Period Pride” event is weird because I’ve never met a single person who was proud about having a period. At least in “mixed company,” it’s the sort of topic that gets brought up once or twice — just to make sure everyone knows how it works — and then studiously avoided forever .

Although officially hosted by activist groups, the event also received support from the Boston mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Advancement.

When she isn’t taking money from operatives of the Chinese Communist Party (perhaps inadvertently), Boston Mayor Michelle Wu has heavily promoted LGBT causes, designating city funds to LGBT activist groups and attending city Pride parades in a rainbow sash. The Boston mayor’s well-established Office of LGBTQ Advancement (which somehow has the Instagram handle LGBTQ_Office) appears highly active.

Thus, Boston is prepared to host Pride events across the city this June, especially in its public libraries. Boston public libraries will host Pride-themed concerts (aren’t libraries supposed to be quiet?) and craft nights, as well as offering plenty of LGBT resources.

Additionally, the city has scheduled no less than 19 drag queen story hours for children under the age of five (because children over the age of five get all the same indoctrination in school). I don’t know a better way to confuse young children; perhaps, like belief in Santa Claus, that sort of early indoctrination is what it takes to get young people to believe in something as fantastical as “Trans Periods.”

Until July.