Forgiveness can be tricky. Arguably, many of us are often tempted to view forgiveness through the lens of human emotions. In doing so, we become prone to being stingy with our forgiveness. We think, “That person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. They didn’t even say sorry!” Many of us get hurt and hold on to grudges, blocking any chance of offering a forgiving hand. Tragically, a lot of us would rather just cut relational ties entirely. And yet, the Bible tells us to forgive. So, what are we to do?

Well, I’d first argue that it’s hard to posture our hearts to be forgiving if we are unaware of just how much forgiveness has done for us. Do you know what’s interesting about many of the Bible verses that address forgiveness? It’s the fact that they’re often structured the same way. Look at these examples:

• “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
• “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).
• “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

In many cases where we’re called to forgive, it comes back to the forgiveness we have already in Christ. And if you look elsewhere in Scripture, it becomes even more profound, because the Bible makes it clear that this forgiveness is something we do not, nor could ever, deserve. Perhaps this is most clearly found in Romans 5:8, which states that “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When God made His plan to send His one and only Son to the cross, He didn’t sit back and think, “Oh, I’ll wait until they have it all together before taking this kind of risk.” No, God sent Jesus to die while we were still sinners. He enacted the plan of redemption despite our ongoing rebellion against Him. He was chasing us as we were running away, and He loved us before we even knew Him at all. All because of Christ’s work on the cross, we have been forgiven, despite the fact that we didn’t do anything to deserve that. Revelation 22:17 reads, “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.” We can come freely, beloved, because Jesus already paid it all.

Do you see how understanding this great forgiveness we have in Christ may impact the way we view forgiveness as it relates to others? We cannot afford to define forgiveness from selfish, finite human perspectives. Even in the Lord’s prayer, as found in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus told us to pray, “[F]orgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Joseph Thigpen of Capitol Hill Baptist Church explained it well when he said that “Jesus here would remind us, even in our prayers, that the forgiveness that you find in God is a fruitful forgiveness. We are to forgive as we forgive our debtors.”

“[D]on’t mistake this point,” he continued. “Us forgiving, as Christians, isn’t contingent … on other people seeking our forgiveness. Biblical forgiveness is extended, not earned. God has extended us forgiveness in Christ, and we have not earned it.” The second we think forgiveness is something that must be earned, we’re not thinking of forgiveness. It’s similar to when the Apostle Paul wrote, “Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?” (Romans 8:24). Our very faith is rooted in the hope of what we do not see yet.

And so, when we consider the beauty of forgiveness, we understand that as Christ forgave us, so are we to forgive others. Not because they deserve it, not because they have earned it, but because forgiveness is a reflection of the fruit of our salvation. And as Thigpen went on to explain, forgiveness is the first step to reconciliation. “I know … many of you [have] been severely wronged,” he sympathized. “You’ve been betrayed. You’ve been alienated. You’ve been pushed to the side. And it’s come at a cost to you.” However, in Scripture, we “see that Jesus would still have you forgive. He wouldn’t have you hold on to bitterness. He wouldn’t have you become hardened. He would have you know that in Christ, in Him, you are forgiven and so forgive others.”

Now, some clarifications are in order. In the proper Christian context, we do understand that we are called to repent. And really, when we understand the forgiveness we have in Christ through His work on the cross, we should inevitably be driven to our knees in prayer and repentance. Another clarification worth highlighting is that, in a vast majority of cases, I’d argue that forgiving others is less about the person being forgiven, and more about the person who is forgiving. We forgive others before God so that our hearts do not become captured by bitterness. We forgive others before God to help keep our hearts from being hardened. We forgive others before God so that if they are moved to confess their wrongdoings, we are ready and able to offer forgiveness from a sincere and healed heart.

When it comes to forgiveness, Thigpen urged that “the solution … is not looking inside yourself.” Nor is it “looking at that other person and trying to understand what motivated them, or what’s behind the wrong that they’ve done to you. No, the solution for you is … to look to God and delight in the forgiveness that’s yours in Christ. Keep looking to Christ. Feast on the forgiveness that He provides to you.”

Forgiveness may be tricky, but for the Christian, it serves as the means by which we have life. Praise God He has chosen to forgive us sinners! And my prayer is that we never forget the debt we owed, the debt that was covered by Christ’s blood, because then, and only then, will we be able to truly forgive others just as Christ forgave us. Even if we still struggle, even if every day we have to remind ourselves of these truths, let forgiveness be the posture we strive to walk in.

None of us truly deserve forgiveness. But that didn’t stop Christ, and it shouldn’t stop us.