“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Except, despite its supportive intentions, this phrase is not quite accurate.
I know, I know. The phrase is meant to be utilized as a defense mechanism, a sort of invisible tool, if you will, to help convince someone (not sure if it’s us or the bully) that mean words have no power over us. But the reality is that words can hurt. And they often do, don’t they?
“Sticks hurt and stones hurt, but you can get over those,” said theologian R.C. Sproul. “But the insult, the insensitive criticism, can paralyze your soul until you die.” It’s likely every person has “wounds that have never healed in their souls from something they heard somebody say to them or about them in their lifetime.” We’re human, after all, the late pastor contended. “We care, we feel, we laugh, we weep, we become afraid.” And words can be, and often are, the sole factor behind a multitude of emotions and decisions.
Don’t you know that a severely large number of people who commit suicide did so because of the words, the lies, they were told? After enough verbal harassment, it’s easy to believe you’re “worthless,” a “waste of space,” or a “nobody,” just like everyone around you says. It pains me to say that I have seen young acquaintances from middle or high school start identifying as homosexual, not because they had some “feeling” that’s who they truly were, but because the people around them told them they were. How many athletes, musicians, and writers give up on their dreams because someone said, “You’ll never make it”?
Scrapes heal and bruises fade, but a hurtful word can pierce the soul like a knife, leaving scars that may never go away. And this isn’t just some basic psychological idea — this is biblical.
Proverbs 25:11 states, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Conversely, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?” Proverbs 29:20 asks. “There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Psalm 34:13 warns us, “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.” And Proverbs 18:21 gives the powerful proclamation that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” And it’s this latter point I believe Christians would benefit from analyzing further.
A lot can be interpreted from a phrase such as what Proverbs 18:21 gives us. But from a Christian point of view, we can’t afford to neglect the truth that words — the Word of God and the words we use to share its truth — actually do mean the difference between eternal life and eternal death.
Numerous books, podcasts, Ted Talks, and lectures have been centered on this idea that words are powerful. But the Christian, especially, cannot afford to neglect this truth. Francis of Assisi, an Italian poet and Catholic friar, once said, “Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.” Now, I think there’s a lot to that statement. But there are two main points I plan to draw from it that we’ll spend the rest of our time considering.
- “Preach the gospel at all times.”
As believers, it stands to reason that we aren’t called to share the gospel whenever we feel like it. Nor are we called to apply biblical truths that make us feel good just to discard the ones that make us uncomfortable. Rather, we are called to preach at all times, denying ourselves in the process, so that we may be transformed by the renewing of our minds and the sanctification of our souls. Really, this life isn’t about us. It’s about Christ.
His work, His love, His grace and mercy, and His gift of salvation for those who believe are what fuel the flame for living. God’s redemptive plan, accomplished through Christ Jesus, is not only the epitome of love, but the epicenter of what it means to have purpose. We weren’t created by nothing with the purpose of doing whatever we want, just to then die and return to nothing. No, we were created with a reason and for a reason. As the song goes, “You and I were made to worship. You and I are called to love. You and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender. You and I choose to believe. Then you and I will see who we were meant to be.”
Our lives are a witness to God’s mercy and grace. We live to testify to love. There is not a single breath that our Creator has not ordained, a single hair our Lord has not numbered, or a single burden our King will not bear for the sake of His Kingdom. And this is why we heed the command to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey” (Matthew 28:19-20a). And this call to evangelism is one we do in our homes, place of employment, fellowship, and more. We preach the gospel at all times.
- “And if necessary, use words.”
To preach at “all times,” it seems Francis of Assisi understood, as I hope to have conveyed well, that there may be instances in which we’re using our actions as our witness, rather than our words. However, I believe that we cannot truly preach the gospel unless we use words. Our actions, behaviors, choices, and responses do reflect our faith, for Proverbs 27:19 states, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” But ultimately, the gospel cannot be fully conveyed without words. In short: It’s not, “if necessary, use words.” Rather, we’re better off thinking of it as, “When necessary, use words.”
We can’t assume a smile, a hug, a nice gesture, or a kind act will deliver the message of salvation that we’re sinners, in need of saving, and that Jesus Christ is that Savior. To save souls, this exclusive message that Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” must be specified with intentional, biblically sound words. And once we understand this, we can take a quote like that from Francis, and better understand that preaching the gospel really does require both words and actions.
And beyond conveying the message of the gospel, we’re instructed to use our words to encourage, uplift, and show love. Ephesians 4:29 reads, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Additionally, Colossians 4:6a states, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt.” And as the Psalmist prays, we ought to pray: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
Beloved, if a word can make the difference between someone choosing to die or to live, to tear apart or to build up, then should not our words be uttered with extreme caution? Every foul sentence we uncaringly utter is not just harmful to those around us but dishonors our Lord. Every reckless online dispute hurts our witness and pushes away the unbeliever. Even Jesus said in Matthew 12:36 that “on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” And I don’t believe this is meant to scare us. Rather, I reckon it’s meant to draw attention to the fact that even our words carry significant weight and should not be dealt with negligently.
Every time we feel hurt, embarrassed, neglected, betrayed, or angered by the words of others, may we remember that our words have power. More importantly, may we be driven to use our own words not for evil, as with those around us, but for good, as our Lord commands.
Christians are called to be different. May our words be part of that call.
Sarah Holliday is a reporter at The Washington Stand.