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Gen Z Wants Marriage but Doesn’t Know Why

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June 23, 2026
Commentary

Not only do empty nesters face an existential crisis, but the young birds leaving it are teleologically disoriented. Imagine if three little fledglings weren’t confined to one geography, one species of mate, one set of birdcalls, and one type of nest, but if they could do anything, go anywhere, be anyone: how confused would they be?

A new Barna poll reveals that today’s teens are asking big questions about purpose, indicating an existential crisis in Gen Z. Only 58% feel hopeful about the future. The survey was given to 1,500 U.S. teenagers aged 13-18 in early 2026 and consisted of an online panel asking how much pressure they felt to answer life’s biggest questions.

How is this a problem? According to another Barna poll, 81% of Gen Z values marriage but don’t see it as being that important to raising a family. In fact, they’re the least likely generation to hold that belief at 67%. Young adults, perplexed about the purpose of their life and thus marriage, are feeling like they need to have it all together — finances, education, etc. — before tying the knot.                                                                                       

Gen Z accepts prolonged singleness as a normal developmental stage, yet it previously existed only as a bridge between stages. The median age at first marriage has climbed drastically in the past few decades. Today, for men and women, the average is 31 and 28.5, respectively. In 2000, it was 27 and 25, and in 1950, it was even lower at 24 and 20.5. Undeniably, this indicates changing values or, as the Barna study suggests, uncertainty about values. Questions like “What is the purpose of marriage?” and “How important is the family?” lay unanswered in the hearts of Gen Z, and, as a result, so do their marriage vows.

As a member of Gen Z, the survey is ultimately not surprising. The overwhelming possibilities after high school can feel like an choppy wave pool. The vast plethora of options, intended to grant freedom, can instead inhibit action. Even young Christians are confounded by conflicting counsel. Particularly challenging for women, young adults are simultaneously told to marry and have kids early, to first complete their college education, explore their personal interests, and become “spiritually mature.” They’re told to both trust God’s timing and to plan the next four years out. The more hesitant are scolded for slothful apathy and tunneled into an unfulfilling path. All of this occurs as accusations construe formative institutions like marriage and family as restrictive, man-made structures.

Understandably, Gen Z is confused. The culture still echoes “Get married!” but doesn’t properly teach marriage’s purpose. Thanks to the Sexual Revolution, marriage is no longer considered a procreative union and cornerstone — but as a capstone. Cohabitation further denigrates marriage. As a result, with no reason to marry but compliance with a fading norm, young adults delay until they sense “alignment.”

Though material needs — such as rising costs — contribute to the gap between sexual, financial, and emotional maturity, or marriage readiness,  the mindset concerning marriage demands adjustment. Two people don’t need to have it all together when they get married. If they did, no one would be married, because nobody has it all together. Not to mention that delayed marriage accelerates the declining fertility rate. The optimal time for the female body to bear children is in the late teens and early 20s, but now that most women aren’t getting married until their late 20s and having kids even later, this significantly narrows the childbearing years, especially since her fertility begins declining at 30. Clearly, worldview, marriage, family, and fertility are interconnected.

Thus, the questions teens feel pressured to answer shape the entire fabric of society. Most prominent is the question of future stability, of which they harbor “anxious optimism.” Three in four teens feel at least some pressure to answer questions about it (how they’ll make a living, the importance of education, and whether society is heading in the right direction). Also prominent are questions about truth and identity (especially due to AI), a desire for belonging, and the existence of God. All four themes connect to marriage and family.

How can we guide teenagers in their uncertainty? We must base ourselves in the Bible. The church also has a wealth of literature. Besides historical wisdom, older generations must teach the younger — not just passing on core values but practical knowledge (Titus 2). And, as past Barna research has confirmed, today’s church leaders need to educate members. With a solid biblical worldview to guide, Christians can build communities where people can flourish, ordered by the God-ordained boundaries of marriage and family.

Emily Redelman is an intern at Family Research Council.

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