You know the joy when you receive a handwritten card in the mail? Or the excitement when a good friend invites you to simply hang out? Or the relief when a real person picks up the other end of the customer service phone line?

When everything is increasingly digital, remote, virtual, you-name-it, little reminders of humanity don’t seem so small anymore. While AI and technology help us save time, energy, and effort in our lives, the question we need to ask is: for what purpose?

Presumably, digital advances give us resources to reinvest in things that matter. Relationships. Community. Family. But do we? Does the time we save with Copilot increase our interactions with coworkers? Does ChatGPT free us up to take the dogs on a longer walk? Does Zoom meeting notes.ai help us get out the door in time for our kid’s Wednesday night basketball game?

Or are we just piling our plates with more busyness and fewer interpersonal connections?

I was recently talking with a new coworker about his background in music and songwriting. As the conversation progressed, we chatted about our annoyance with the influx of AI content in the art and music space. My coworker described how people use AI and digital instruments to generate accompaniments to their songs. He had a different approach. “Instead of using the computer,” he said, “I’d want to go and make friends with people who could play those instruments.”

The idea stuck. I’m no songwriter, but I couldn’t shake the question: how many opportunities do we overlook because it’s easier to use AI? In a paraphrase of a Substack post that crossed my feed, “Is there anyone you know who would love to answer the question you’re about to ask ChatGPT?”

Questions foster relationships. So it’s no wonder that the more questions we ask algorithms, the more connected we feel to them. Consider headlines like Forbes’ “80% Of Gen Zers Would Marry An AI: Study” or The Independent’s “Nearly a Third of Americans Have Had a ‘Romantic Relationship’ with an AI Bot, New Survey Says.” Alarming, but apparently a growing trend.

It makes sense.

Digital sociologist Julie Albright points to a well-documented fact: young people are increasingly lonely. There’s a variety of reasons for this, but the increasing digital sphere isn’t helping. Additionally, the ease and availability of online apps and remote services cut down regular face-to-face interactions. Albert cautions, “A significant portion of young people have no friends. AI now, particularly voice AI, and as time goes by and the technology gets better, voice combined with simulated bodies will mimic or simulate that kind of human connection through nonverbal signals, such as warmth in tone of voice. This will in some ways satisfy that need for connection through a simulated relationship, further distancing ourselves from one another as the convenience and ease of frictionless AI relationships stand in for the more messy, difficult and sometimes friction-filled relationships of the flesh.”

AI creates the illusion of real emotional support without the inconvenience and drama of sinful humans. Although most people understand it’s not the same as human interaction, the more we engage, the closer we bond. John Koetsier, senior contributor for Forbes, pinpoints the issue, “But AI is easy, it’s always accessible, and it’s whatever we want it to be … without the hassles of real relationships with real people.”

But here’s the crazy thing. AI “companionship” isn’t just for the lonely.

In 2025, Vantage Point Counseling Services surveyed 1,012 Americans about their interactions with artificial intelligence and computer systems. Specifically, the group examined how people view their relationships with AI in light of human-to-human relationships. The results were eyebrow-raising, to say the least. But here’s one counterintuitive takeaway: “Adults currently in successful relationships are more likely to pursue an intimate or romantic relationship with an Artificial Intelligence.” In fact, up to 87% of Americans in a “relationship” with an AI “are in some form of successful human intimate, romantic, or sexual relationship.”

So if loneliness exacerbates an unhealthy use of AI, but meaningful human relationships don’t reverse the trend, what’s the solution?

Like most things, we should start with self-examination. Who (or what) do we turn to with our own questions? Do we value speed and convenience over relationship-building? Are we patient enough to work through conflict with humility, or do we prefer positive affirmations and instantaneous answers for our every thought?

Even if we don’t consider AI as some type of digital buddy, consider what opportunities might be missed whenever we hit the enter button on a new chat. What person would have loved to share a coffee shop recommendation or their 15-minute morning workout routine? What kid might know the name of the dinosaur with wings, or what “aura farming” involves? What man or woman needed that single question to remind them that someone cared enough to listen?

This is our opportunity. Instead of looking at how AI can satisfy us, let’s consider how we can bless other people. Here’s the irony: blessing others may involve using AI. We could use it to help us find pickleball groups within a 10-mile radius, or generate weekly calendar reminders to pray for our pastor, or figure out the closest pregnancy resource center for a mother in crisis. But the whole perspective shifts. AI fits in its proper place when it helps us be better neighbors, or coworkers, or friends, not when it takes their place.

Yes, interacting with people can be a pain. Yes, it will take longer and require those active listening skills. And yes, the answers will be less precise. But when you go out of your way to ask people, two things might happen. One, you could learn something new about someone else. Two, someone else might benefit from that small interaction — that one question you chose not to ask an algorithm.

Using AI is easy. It’s fast. It’s decently reliable and engaging. But the contrast makes intentional human interaction more meaningful. And like a handwritten card, perhaps even question-asking might become a small, practical way to walk the extra mile and show someone you care.